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  • 1 day ago
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yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 
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  • 2 days ago
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  • 6 days ago
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dragon-in-a-fez:

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

you just put every marriage counsellor out of business

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  • 1 week ago
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plunders:

raise your hand if you’re a lil bit of an asshole

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fiyhi:

patron-de-los-santos:

mcdamnright:

So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.

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I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.

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Then I was like “No.”

well no wonder why it was in the thrift store

but shit it was 99 cents

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  • 1 week ago
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thisisradioactive:

When you make a reference and someone actually gets it

image

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  • 1 week ago
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